You know how in movies kidnappers usually videotape their victims holding the day’s newspaper as proof that they’re still alive? Considering how long I’ve left this blog to grow mold and other multi-celled organisms (Can you tell I have biology this semester and that I haven’t been paying much attention in class?), I feel like I should post a picture of me with today’s paper. But in the same way that I’ve been too lazy to update this thing, I simply couldn’t seem to get off my ass to snap a simple photo. In other words, you’re just going to have to take my word for it: I’m Nikki and I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet.
A couple of things have happened since I last posted that might actually be proof that hell has frozen over.
Proof # 1: I wrote poetry
I think I’ve mentioned before that I find it quite difficult to write most of the time, so I had avoided writing classes like the plague. This semester, however, I was forced to take a creative writing elective, because there was nothing else that fit into my schedule. Hence the poetry. Before this class my experience with poetry was limited to my third-grade masterpiece about the “little seed in need of the sun and the rain and the soil indeed.” When my friend Aggie heard about my poetry-writing predicament, she said and I quote, “What?! How can you write poetry? You don’t have angst!” I may not have angst, but I tried my best to fake it. And apparently, I do have a bit of cheese somewhere in the recesses of my sap-retardant brain. I am now the not-so-proud author of four poems (one bad, two semi-bad, and one almost-okay). The class has since moved on to prose, so I have progressed/regressed to penning terrible short stories. It appears that I have even less sense of plot than I have angst.
Proof # 2: I gave up meat
I, carnivore extraordinaire, have become a vegetarian. I had to prepare a report about animal rights and welfare for my Environmental Journalism class; I haven’t been able to eat anything that walks or flies since I first researched about the topic over a month ago. (We humans are a cruel, cruel species.) I have never been a fan of tofu or vegetables, yet strangely enough, I don’t really miss meat. At first I thought it would be a passing thing, but now I’ve decided to give up beef, pork and chicken for good.
So there. If you–unlike me–believe in hell and that you are naughty enough to land prime real estate in Satanville after this life, you just might want to invest in a good pair of ice skates. Skis, sleds, and snowboards might be fun, too.
That’s it for now, folks! I’ll post again the next time there is a big-ass deadline looming over my head and I feel the need to procrastinate. Until then, let’s all try not to take ourselves too seriously.