Bottled Sky

Hey, all! I’ve opened my own Cafepress store, BottledSky Designs, and this is my official pimp-my-shop post. Seriously, though, please check it out. I’ve used a few of my illustrations to design T-shirts, kids wear, hoodies, coffee mugs, greeting cards… even underwear hehe! If you’re a regular visitor here, you’ll probably recognize some of the designs, like Stargazer, Dreamer, and Sleepyhead, from my previous layouts and my portfolio. My personal favorites are the Naughty Girl tee, the Little Ninja hoodie, the Stargazer wall clock, the Dreamer mug, and the Naughty Girl thong. Check them out (and, if you have purchasing power, hopefully buy something)

Continue reading Let’s Talk Shop »

All throughout my teenage years, I was the one with the “cool” parents. I never had to ask permission to go anywhere. My friends had to beg just to be allowed to go to the mall; I could simply inform my parents that I was going on a week-long vacation to some province a few hours before I’m scheduled to leave. While most of my classmates at CSA had to be driven everywhere, I was free to go as I pleased via public transportation. I’ve also had a credit card since I was thirteen.

Yet there was more to my folks’ parenting style than being able to do whatever I wanted. Somehow they still managed to instill a sense of accountability in me. Even without being told, I knew well enough not to abuse my plastic and to never leave without telling them where I was going. Their parenting style may have been unorthodox, but except for the chronic laziness, I’d say I turned out okay.

I was actually teasing them the other day that they should publish a book on parenting just for the amusement of seeing how people would react to their more interesting techniques:

• They encouraged my inner artist to draw on our walls–with washable markers.
• Mom taught me how to climb up my bookcase a la Spider-Man when I was a toddler, so I wouldn’t have to ask for help to get things from high shelves.
• They also taught me to drink at the age of five. They’d take me to office cocktail parties after school, where I’d drink Boone’s Farm in my CSA uniform. By age twelve I had moved on to vodka tonics. I’d drink about four glasses every time my family would bar-hop to hear local rock bands perform. I got my first hangover when I was eight, and since I know how to handle my alcohol, I haven’t had any hangovers since.
• Mom was afraid I wouldn’t obey her orders to stay away from the stove while she was cooking, so to teach me the concept of “hot” she dipped my finger in a mug of hot water. I’d say the lesson worked marvelously–up to now, I still can’t cook to save my life.
• In another “successful lesson,” they helped me understand electricity better by threatening to stick my finger in an electrical socket. I guess I was doomed to suck at electronics and communications engineering right from the start.

And here’s a more recent example of their unique brand of parenting. A couple of years ago I had an evening class, and one afternoon I was heading out to UP to attend said class wearing a very low-cut top and low-hanging jeans. Cue concerned mother.

Mom: You shouldn’t wear sexy clothing on Fridays, because you get home so late. Maybe you should change.

Me: But there’s a cute guy in my Friday class.

Mom: Oh, why didn’t you say so earlier?! In that case, just walk really fast when you’re out on the streets. Have fun!

Yes, I can see it now. “Just Walk Really Fast: Parenting that Works in the Real World.” It’ll be right up there in all the bestseller lists along with “I’ll Think of a Title Later: The Procrastinator’s Guide to Never Getting Anything Done.”

On a totally unrelated topic, check out these photos of my ridiculously handsome dogs, Oreo and TJ. You can click for a larger view.

My parents got me LASIK eye surgery for my birthday this year. My dad and I both had it done last Friday, and now for the first time in 15 years I have 20/20 vision. It’s quite easily the best birthday gift ever.

Like most of the things I do I didn’t give the surgery much thought beforehand, and it was only when I lay down on the surgical table that it sunk in that I really was having part of my corneas vaporized. So for a moment I was nervous, but I got over it in literally 2 seconds. This was basically how it went down in my head:

Stage 1:  Nonchalance - “Surgery? No big deal!”
Stage 2:  Momentary nerves - “No shit! I’m really doing this!”
Stage 3:  Gung ho recklessness - “Bring on the lasers!”

The procedure itself was painless and it took only about 5 minutes per eye. The first few hours following the surgery was a bitch, though. The pain was bearable, but my eyes teared up continuously and automatically so I just kept them closed until we got home. I functioned remarkably well for a (temporarily) blind person in pain, if I do say so myself. I managed to walk quickly and smoothly from the American Eye Center, which was located in a busy shopping mall, all the way to the car with only a relaxed hold on my aunt’s hand to guide me. I was even able to feed myself takeout food in a moving vehicle.

I did, however, drop some macaroni salad down my cleavage at one point. Picture me blindly fishing pasta out of my bra in traffic with automatic tears flowing from my stinging eyes. Of course I had to giggle a little despite the pain. Wouldn’t you? It was just as hilariously absurd as my tearful toast-eating experience!

Here’s some more hilarious absurdity. My parents and I discovered that I had astigmatism when I ran into our garage wall when I was 7 — poor eyesight equals impaired ability to judge distances. I was running to greet my parents as they came home from work one night when it happened. It was like “Mommeeeeeeeee—SMACK!” My two front teeth collided with cement. Good news: no blood. Bad news: chipped tooth. Bottom line: at least we became aware that I needed glasses.

You know what, I take it back. There was no bad news about that whole incident. I’ve always liked the little nick in my tooth. I think it gives my smile character *grins cheekily* And with my newly restored vision, I see only more reasons to smile.

P.S. Yes, I am in a very good mood