Weird E-mails from Male Visitors
I have a folder entitled “Weird” in my e-mail account specifically for strange or silly e-mails sent via this website. For some reason almost all of the messages that end up there are from male visitors. Here’s a rundown of the more interesting ones:
- One guy described my site as “babaeng-babae” (very womanly). That in itself isn’t weird at all, but then he added, “I can smell you from here.” Yikes.
- Another guy decided to regale me with HIS ENTIRE LIFE STORY IN CAPS LOCK. It was one long paragraph of caps-locked goodness detailing his life from birth to his current efforts to become a licensed chemical engineer. You’d think that a Chemical Engineering graduate would be smart enough to find the Caps Lock key and turn if off, but you’d be wrong.
- After blogging about my decision to become a vegetarian, a concerned visitor sent me this wise warning: “Scientists claim that humans’ brains didn’t begin to grow until we started eating meat. You don’t want to go retro!” Did you get that, people? Giving up meat will cause you to regress into an ape. Be warned!
- I honestly do not know what to make of this next one, so I’ll do away with the commentary and just post the e-mail in its full, unedited glory:
I just want to tell you that you are very very beautiful girl because I saw the first your photos, but when I read about you I was disappointed because your beauty is much more unique than your personality. I hope that you will change one day and that you will be able to love somebody who will wish you so much as I could if you would not be so selfish and conceited as you are now. If you ever wish to be courage and love a clever man who would make love with you 3 times per day and smile at least 3 hours, send me e-mail. By the way, there are so many beautiful girls who would like to be special and unique, but if they do not have nice personality and good peaceful heart, they are simply not attractive to clever and goodlooking man, just to under-average stupid and reach men who will be never able to give you what you really need and to make you happy, just to give you money to go to shopping. Do not be angry on this e-mail, I just wish you all the best!!
- A foot fetishist offered to buy me gifts in exchange for pictures of my feet. The request was a little creepy, but the e-mail itself was very politely and apologetically phrased. I almost wanted to reply, “You don’t need to buy me gifts! My feet are sluts — they’ll do it for free!” Almost
- “I…I think I Love you!” Awwww.
I must admit, I’m kind of upset that I never get emails like this. I feel neglected by the weirdos. Tell me Nikki, what should I do to attract them to me? Post photos of my feet?
Three times a day? Can you uh…pass me his details? ;P
LOL
You should have asked for more shoes from the foot fetishist. Hehe… Just kidding. XD
Wow, the emails are widely varying… from cute, to weird, to funny. Haha!
“I…I think I Love you!†– awwww…
Why does he find you conceited? I read your about page and it said witty not conceited… though maybe he’s initimidated by you. *nods*
Then again, there’s the question: why would you care about a complete stranger’s opinion about you? Especially when he forms that opinion by reading your about page.I really don’t get these people who believe they KNOW a webmaster just because they read their blog/bio page.
Wow that email was just out of this world. That guy is a total rapist. And anyone who has 3 hours of free time a day just for sex has no real job. I had some guy send me his life story and ask for a date. He didn’t even bother to read the about page.
Amanda, posting photos of your feet will definitely attract a weirdo or two
So you never get weird e-mails? And here I was thinking every blogger gets them from time to time. Does this make me a weirdo magnet? *sweat drop*
Kathy, I have to admit that it did cross my mind LOL.
Ivy, that’s why I didn’t delete them. They’re so entertaining
Vera, my sentiments exactly! It’s so idiotic how some people think they can really know someone just from browsing his/her website.
Kimmie, that’s so true. Guys who hit on random girls online really need to get a life.
Any tips on how to successfully get weird emails? Kidding. XD
Ahahaha!! I never get weird e-mails like that, maybe I’m just lucky/unlucky.
I’m glad I don’t get any creepy emails then.
… Aaaand I just probably jinxed myself by saying that.
Well! That last post made me laugh a lot. I almost feel saddened by the fact that I don’t get creepy e-mails like that. Well, I get creepy SPAM e-mails, like “Buy viagra” etc., but nothing actually personalised (unless it’s “Kelly – enlarge your penis”). Oh well. I’m sure I’ll live
That’s quite disturbing and yet somehow VERY amusing as well.
Lol. The warning about “humans’ brains didn’t begin to grow until we started eating meat” is just hilarious.
weirdo magnet! hahaha.
congrats on your decision to become a vegetarian! i’m a veggie, too.
ugh, i hate sketchy emails like that. he can smell you? wtf is that about? can you say stalker-type? geez.
#4 just takes the cake for me: The profundity is just staggering, hahaha
“…under-average stupid and reach men who will be never able to give you what you really need and to make you happy, just to give you money to go to shopping…”
Thank you, miscellaneous cyber-boy, for your concern. Be sure to commend him for his wisdom.
Thanks for posting these, Nikki! Had a good laugh! Cheers.